Once upon a time in a little old town in a little known place with lots of all ages of peoples, everyone was in a whole world of trouble. It was doomed for many and many a day and then some. Evil had come to visit there. And Evil can stink up a place, even worse than a scummy washcloth or a poopie diaper. And once Evil was there, never did it want to leave.
“I like it here,” Evil said day in and day out as it walked around the neighborhood like it owned the place.
People said and said, “Go away, Evil.”
And Evil said back, “No. Make me,” which was very, very bad for the little old town in a little known place with lots of all ages of peoples.
Why, you may ask? Here’s why.
With Evil there, nothing good ever comes there–no sunny days, no swimming parties at Lala’s, no playing with the chickens at Mimi’s, no Santa Claus bringing wrapped presents, no Easter bunny with baskets of candy, no finding lost kitty cats and puppy dogs, no dressing up at Trick or Treat for Halloween, no cookouts where you eat ice cream on the back porch deck; and all the machines–like cars and tvs and even toasters–and all the toys–like, you name it–sit broken and strewn across the roads and front yards and living rooms–all because Evil’s there. Why, you ask? Simply because Evil is like that–for no good reason.
The people of the little old town cried, “Oh, woe is us. What? What can we do? Woe to me and woe to you.”
In this place where Evil would not leave, Cammie Coo Coo lived, too. At this time, Cammie Coo Coo was passing through, riding on her unicorn Louie Lou da Lou. She was singing loudly:
“I ride my unicorn high and low.
I ride my unicorn fast and slow.
It doesn’t matter where I go.
I know what I know so I go–ho ho!”
Some little old town people said, “Ask her. Ask Cammie Coo Coo to help. Just look at her–with her crazy flowing hair and her determination and that smile. She can do anything.”
But other town people said, “No. Nothing can save us! Wise men went up against the stinking Evil. Brave men. Smart, cunning men. They tried. Evil just ruined more things. We’ve tried! We can’t expect her to. She’s just a kid. All is lost.” And people hung their heads.
Cammie Coo Coo and Louie Lou da Lou stopped in their flight and their song.
Cammie said, “What’s the matter, people? You seem so sad with your head hung oh so low. Evil got you down?”
The people looked at each other with a goofy questioning look on their faces, because that’s what hope looks like when it is born on the inside and suddenly shows up on the outside of someone’s face. To each other, the little old town people said, “Maybe she can help us. Maybe.”
“Sure I can,” Cammie Coo Coo said. “I plan on helping all living things that love. See this?” She pointed at her mouth and smiled, and they felt better.
“We need this Evil to leave our little old town,” one person said. “It’s so ugly and scary and stinkin’.”
“Yeah, but it doesn’t want to leave, so it won’t,” said another.
Cammie Coo Coo said, “I can make it leave.” She slid off of Louie Lou da Lou. Her face never turned into a frown. The wind whipped her hair all over the place, but her face just stood there.
“Tell us what to do. Do you need us to do anything?” the people said.
“I need only one thing but you cannot give it to me.” With Cammie’s words, Louie Lou da Lou winnied and stomped the earth and whispered in Cammie Coo Coo’s ear.
Cammie Coo Coo said, “Thank you. That’ll help.” Skipping around, Cammie Coo Coo said, “I have a secret weapon, I have a secret weapon. I have a secret weapon.”
“Tell us, tell us, yeah, tell us,” they said. They were wringing their hands.
“It’s a secret,” Cammie Coo Coo said. “My, you guys are strung way too uptight. It’s my secret.”
“We get that, but you must tell us,” they said.
“Correct me if I’m wrong,” Cammie Coo Coo said, “but if I tell you, then it’s not a secret. But I will tell you ANOTHER secret.”
“Wow, she’s full of . . . secrets,” someone said.
“You know the secret already, it’s living things that love–love them.” Cammie kissed her unicorn, who blushed and nuzzled her. “But you don’t KNOW you know the secret yet. You must believe that you have a special secret deep inside. Touch your chest. Hold your hand over your heart. Do you feel something special but secret deep down inside there?”
“Maybe. Yes, maybe,” another someone said.
“Good. You got it, too. Hold onto that. You don’t believe that’s special or secret and you’ll forget I said so because I’m a kid. But I am wise. I’ll be back. Probably,” she said.
“Do you want something in return?” one asked.
“That’s a secret, too,” Cammie Coo Coo said.
“Like I said, she’s full of it,” another town person said.
And so Cammie Coo Coo left for the chase of Evil.
Evil knew Cammie Coo Coo was coming. How did Evil know, you may ask? Such is the nature of Evil.
Evil knows about things that are sad and things that are bad and things that are hidden and dirty and rusted and hurtful and swollen things and of sickness and of pus and scabs and oozy-ness and infected and stabby and screaming and full of yells and hollers and about needs and aches and pains and wants and desires. And Evil knows about being full of emptiness and greed and stones and worms and bitey fish with saws for teeth in drowning pools and seas of icy water and birds that can blind and scalding volcanoes and forests so thick they are throat-suffocating and parched deserts where you can’t swallow. Why? Because Evil is almost all-powerful and all-knowing and all-devouring and knows about things that have already come and that are coming.
So, yoohoo, here’s Cammie Coo Coo, Evil.
Cammie Coo Coo was singing:
“I ride my unicorn high and low.
I ride my unicorn fast and slow.
It doesn’t matter what you know,
I know what I know so I go–ho ho!”
She was riding high and low, fast and slow, high over Smoggy Bog and slow over Slobby Hollow. Because she made everything she did look like so much fun and so innocent and pure, and especially because it always looked like pure fun, Evil followed her. Because that’s what Evil does. It follows everyone. Cammie Coo Coo and Louie Lou da Lou flew one step ahead of Evil. They flew low over Fog Belly River and fast over the Achy Avalanchey Ridge of Hackin’ Sacky Mountains, over the Edge of Nowhere and the Darkening Forest of Day.
And when Cammie Coo Coo had drawn Evil farther away, in the far, farthest place from her loved ones, more than anyone on earth had ever gotten Evil to go, maybe to be able to attack it, as her unicorn had whispered they should try to do, Evil yelled, “Stop.”
Cammie Coo Coo said, “No,” and turned to face Evil head on. Cammie spun Louie Lou da Lou toward that stinkin’ Evil that was covered in greasy black hair and fifty-one sticky, stinking fingers and hundreds of bloody saws for toes among other gnarly stuff and said, “I’m not going to listen to you.”
“But you can stop to help someone,” Evil said, as it started to reach toward the unicorn.
“You don’t need my help. Likewise, you cannot touch my unicorn,” Cammie said. “I protect living things that love that I love. Don’t touch Louie Lou da Lou.”
With that demand, Cammie Coo Coo used her secret weapon. At the same time that Evil reached to stroke the unicorn’s neck and as Louie Lou da Lou winnied and tapped a hoof into the air, Cammie made sure no one else but Evil was looking at her and she did this.
What is this, you ask.
This, I say.
She made a face, this one, the wickedest, awfulest, hatefulest face with all kinds of people standing strong inside with her.
Well, Evil was stunned. It wanted to respond. It wanted to shrink back and then explode forward with the deepest, darkest, vilest, vomitest, most sinful grime it had that could scar Cammie Coo Coo forever, but before it could, Princess Cammie Coo Coo said, “Can we talk? I’m not supposed to talk to strangers, BUT you’re not really a stranger. I’ve recognized you since we left the little old town with the broken toys. You’re what breaks the animals I love. I have a feeling you’re a thing, maybe you’re a thought, not a person right at this minute, but you CAN hurt me rather badly if I allow you to and I’m not going to.”
“What?” Evil said.
“You must leave,” Cammie Coo Coo said. “You cannot live with me. I will not let you enter inside of me with my smile and determined people, and therefore, you cannot live in the little old town I call my home.”
Evil kind of regrouped, gathering itself and its evilness and its cunning and its thoughts and said, “Why do you care? I already broke everything there. You should just let me have it. It’s no good to you.”
She said, “It’s none of your concern now, Evil. I say you are banished from my home and you are to leave me and my family and to hurt no living thing I love any more! You have seen the magic I hold inside. I am not yours to command to do your bidding. So you must go. Evil, be gone. Bye bye bye. ”
Evil said, “Keep your broken stuff. Keep your broken little known place. I’m leaving you. I’m looking around and I kind of like it out here, so I might just stay all the way out here where you took me to.”
Louie Lou da Lou winked at Cammie Coo Coo. because their plan had worked.
She said, “Good. I am going to go take care of living things that love I love.”
Back at the little old town, Cammie Coo Coo told the town people Evil was gone for now.
“Hooray!” they said. “What did you do?”
“I had to stay one step ahead. You can’t let Evil catch up with you. You can’t negotiate with it. You all can beat it with what’s inside, too. And you all have it, too. Here’s my face that beat Evil.” Cammie Coo Coo made her smile face. “Show me yours.”
And the people smiled.
“And my determined face!” Cammie Coo Coo made her determined face. “Show me yours!”
And the people made their determined face.
“And my ‘I win’ face!” Cammie Coo Coo made her I-win-and-will-not-be-beaten face and threw her fists in the air. The people did, too.
“I said Evil is ALMOST all-powerful and all-knowing and all-devouring because almost is not all. You know what is better? Better than Evil is good. And that’s a whole wide world different than being almost all-powerful, almost all-knowing, almost all-devouring and consuming.”
The people nodded their heads and held them high and petted Louie Lou da Lou.
Cammie asked, “Do you know what the secret is that you didn’t know you know?”
“Tell us, Cammie Coo Coo. We’ll listen this time,” they said.
“Carrying the strength of multiple people inside. Together.”
“We now know this to be true,” they said.
“Do you now know what my secret weapon is?” she asked.
“We were too scared to pay attention, but we’re listening now,” they said.
“It’s the love of living things that love. That’s what Louie Lou da Lou represents. And Evil can’t touch that, cannot kill that. We will always be a part of those people who can help each other inside out and outside in. We are strong inside together.”
Cammie Coo Coo climbed on her unicorn, singing:
“I ride my unicorn high and low.
I ride my unicorn fast and slow.
It doesn’t matter where I go or what you know,
I know what I know and you go where I go–ho ho!”
And off on her unicorn Louie Lou da Lou, Cammie Coo Coo flew high, to watch over all the living things that love that she loved inside and out.